Undrawn Scripts

Black Guy and Other Black Guy are watching television
OBG: You know, this political correctness stuff is going too far.
B.G.: You know it, man. America needs to get past this color stuff.

B.G. But you know it's hard for people to break out of that way of thinking, you know.
OBG: I don't know. I don't think in terms of color.
B.G. still looking at t.v.: Uh-huh.

OBG: No, really!
B.G.: Uh-huh.

OBG: But I can see why some people turn red. It's not like you can white out the past.
B.G. says nothing.

O.B.G.: Me, I almost turned white when I heard about those church burnings.
BG says nothing

Hippie comes in carrying bags.
Hippie: What's up fellas? Ready for a seafood feast?
OBG: See, this guy doesn't think like that.

Panel 7
O.B.G.: So what are we having for dinner?
Hippie: Whiting.
B.G. Uh-huh.

Panel 1
Hatbabe and Confederate Guy walking and talking.
Hatbabe: You've done well for your first day here.
Confederate Guy: Thanks, but what did you expect? I'm not one of them.

Panel 2
Hatbabe: What?
Confederate Guy: You know, them. I don't need any set-aside, affirmative action, or special language.

Panel 3
Black Guy walks into panel from left.
Hatbabe: Excuse me?
CG: In fact, I think that ebonics is the stupidest thing to ever come out of the black community.

Panel 4
CG, looking at BG: I'm sure you agree, dude. I bet I'd have your job if not stupid affirmative action laws or some dumb program like ebonics. At least white people won't be hurt by ebonics.

Panel 5
BG: I don't support ebonics either, but some things mean the same in any language. Listen closely now.
CG: What?

Panel 6
BG: You be fired.
CG: What'd I say?
HB: You be soo stupid.

Panel 1
Hippie: Hey, man, can I borrow your cd player?
BG: Not right now, I'm using it. You can borrow it later.

Panel 2
Hippie: Hey, man, can I borrow your cd player?
BG: No, I said you can borrow it later, okay?

Panel 3
Hippie: Hey, man, can I borrow your cd player?
BG: I said no! What, you don't understand English?

Panel 4
They look at each other.

Panel 5
Hippie: Hey, man, can I borrow your cd player?
BG: Like, somebody beam me back to reality, if I part with my melodious tune, my aura will be out of synch.

Panel 6
Hippie: Okay, dude, no problem.
BG: Man, that class in Hipponics sure comes in handy sometimes.

Panel 1
BG: Hello, there, ladies and gentlemen. We've decided to use this week's strip to fulfill our educational requirements for the American Family Association.
Hippie: Yeah, we wouldn't want our rating to go above PG13, so we're going to talk about Ebonics.

Panel 2
BG: With my fine assistant here, we're going to demonstrate other kinds of American languages.

Panel 3
Hippie: He dribbles down the lane, leans back and shoots a trey with a couple of ticks left on the clock. Net city, bay-bee!
BG: For example, there's hooponics.

Panel 4
Hippie: Gol-lee, Cuddin Mary Sue sholl is a gudd lukin' filly, ain't she? I gotta get me sum of that!
BG: Then there's hickonics.

Panel 5
Hippie: Hey, baby, what's your sign? I'm a Gemini, the sign of love.
BG: And gigilonics.

Panel 6
Hippie: Almost time for Darkwing Duck!
BG: And our course, there's his favorite, dumbonics.
Hippie: Didn't they fight the autobots?

Panel 1
Hippie: Whatcha doing?
BG: My income taxes, the same thing you need to be doing.

Panel 2
Hippie: I don't know what you're talking about, I'm already finished.
BG: You've already finished your taxes?

Panel 3
Hippie: That's right, I've got the forms right here, with all my deductions itemized.
BG: Let me see that.

Panel 4
BG, looking through papers: You did these calucations yourself, didn't you?
Hippie: Yeah, why do you ask?

Panel 5
BG: Somehow, I don't think the IRS is going to accept your collection of Darkwing Duck videotapes as a business expense.
Hippie: Hey, I use those to relax after work. That counts.

Panel 6
BG: And I wouldn't report your...um... box garden in the windowsill as a medical expense.
Hippie: Hey, it works in California.

Panel 1
BG: Watcha watchin'?
Hippie: Just taking in some MTV. You know, it's amazing how much it's changed over the years.

Panel 2
BG: Tell me about it. When Thriller came out, there were no blacks getting video airtime. Now it seems like two songs out of every three are R&B or rap.

Panel 3
Hippie: And alternative used to be just that, but it's been ubiquitous ever since Nirvana and Pearl Jam made it big.

Panel 4
Hippie: Yep, it seems like you can't be mainstream unless you're a hippie or a black guy.

Panel 5
They look at each other

Panel 6
BG: I get to be the lead singer!
Hippie: I'll play the bongos!

The following is a series of strips Jesse wrote to revive the strip, which was dormant at the time. I forget exactly what format the revival was going to be in, but it basically ended up being one of our many failed ideas for a HATBG project that never got off the ground. And being that there was a certain timeliness factor to these strips, we were never able to use them... Until now.

Hippie and The Black Guy: The Return

Panel 1
Wide shot of crowd
(Washington D.C.: The Million Man March)

Panel 2
Closer on crowd

Panel 3
Even closer on crowd

Panel 4
Hippie: Dude!
BG(in shock): Oh, no.

Panel 1
BG: What are you doing here?
Hippie: Dude, aren't you glad to see me?

Panel 2
BG: Yeah, I'm glad to see you, I'm just a little surprised.
Hippie: Surprised? Why, where else would I be?

Panel 3
BG: I'm glad to hear that, man. Brothers need all the support we can get to set ourselves straight.
Hippie: Brothers?

Panel 4
BG: Yeah? You're not here to show support for the Million Man March?
Hippie: Million Man March? I thought this was the afterparty for Jerry Garcia's funeral.

Panel 1
BG: You mean you came to the Million Man March thinking it was the afterparty for Jerry Garcia's funeral.
Hippie: Hey, dude. It could happen.

Panel 2
BG: I don't see how. Do you see any Deadheads here?
Hippie: Hey, the brother with the bowtie and the bandanna over there could pass

Panel 3
BG: I don't believe this.
Hippie: Believe it, dude.

Panel 4
BG: Wait a minute. Garcia's funeral ended months ago.
Hippie: Time flies when your keepin' the spirit alive.

(Warning: Three panel strip)
Panel 1
BG: Well, I hate to tell you, but this is not part of Jerry Garcia's funeral.
Hippie: Oh, I figured that out a while back.

Panel 2
BG: Good. It's nice to see you clued in for a change.
Hippie: Hey, I resemble that remark.

Panel 3
BG: What tipped you off?
Hippie, taking off sunglasses showing black eye: Oh, some ``brothers'' back there explained it to me when I tried to start a moshpit.

Panel 1
BG: Well, it's nice to see you anyway. You gonna stay and listen to Farrakhan?
Hippie : Farrah-khan?

Panel 2
BG: Yeah, the guy that's been all over the news for the last few weeks.

Panel 3
BG, getting on his soapbox: Despite what's he said in the past, he's been telling us what we need to hear right now. Are you listening to me?

Panel 4
Hippie: You mean they're finally making that Charlie's Angels/Star Trek crossover movie I've been lusting after?
BG: I gotta get a new friend.

Panel 1(BG and Hippie inside McDonald)
BG: So what have you been doing since SMU?
Hippie: Oh, just wandering the earth, trying to find my place in life.

Panel 2
BG: Oh, really?
Hippie: Yeah, man. I had a revelation, no, a miracle happen a while back, so I decided to walk the earth looking for truth and having adventures.

Panel 3
BG: Uh-huh.
Hippie: You know, man, my eyes are finally open. I can finally see the world for what it is.

Panel 4
BG: So you liked Pulp Fiction too, huh?
Hippie, at counter: A Royale with cheese and a five dollar shake, kittycat.

This is an old unused daily strip from early on. Unless we used it. I'm not sure.

Hippy: Youšll never guess what I bought today.
BG: I donšt want to know.

Hippy: Sure you do. I just got three more Darkwing Duck action figure! I only lack two!

HIPPY: Then I can send off for my life-size Darkwing Duck costume.

BG: Bungee-jumping the cliffs of geekness.