PANEL 1
Black Guy and Other Black Guy are watching television
OBG: You know, this political correctness stuff is going too far.
B.G.: You know it, man. America needs to get past this color stuff.

PANEL 2
B.G. But you know it's hard for people to break out of that way of thinking, you know.
OBG: I don't know. I don't think in terms of color.
B.G. still looking at t.v.: Uh-huh.

PANEL 3
OBG: No, really!
B.G.: Uh-huh.

PANEL 4
OBG: But I can see why some people turn red. It's not like you can white out the past.
B.G. says nothing.

PANEL 5
O.B.G.: Me, I almost turned white when I heard about those church burnings.
BG says nothing

PANEL 6
Hippie comes in carrying bags.
Hippie: What's up fellas? Ready for a seafood feast?
OBG: See, this guy doesn't think like that.

Panel 7
O.B.G.: So what are we having for dinner?
Hippie: Whiting.
B.G. Uh-huh.

Panel 1
Hatbabe and Confederate Guy walking and talking.
Hatbabe: You've done well for your first day here.
Confederate Guy: Thanks, but what did you expect? I'm not one of them.

Panel 2
Hatbabe: What?
Confederate Guy: You know, them. I don't need any set-aside, affirmative action, or special language.

Panel 3
Black Guy walks into panel from left.
Hatbabe: Excuse me?
CG: In fact, I think that ebonics is the stupidest thing to ever come out of the black community.

Panel 4
CG, looking at BG: I'm sure you agree, dude. I bet I'd have your job if not stupid affirmative action laws or some dumb program like ebonics. At least white people won't be hurt by ebonics.

Panel 5
BG: I don't support ebonics either, but some things mean the same in any language. Listen closely now.
CG: What?

Panel 6
BG: You be fired.
CG: What'd I say?
HB: You be soo stupid.

Panel 1
Hippie: Hey, man, can I borrow your cd player?
BG: Not right now, I'm using it. You can borrow it later.

Panel 2
Hippie: Hey, man, can I borrow your cd player?
BG: No, I said you can borrow it later, okay?

Panel 3
Hippie: Hey, man, can I borrow your cd player?
BG: I said no! What, you don't understand English?

Panel 4
They look at each other.

Panel 5
Hippie: Hey, man, can I borrow your cd player?
BG: Like, somebody beam me back to reality, if I part with my melodious tune, my aura will be out of synch.

Panel 6
Hippie: Okay, dude, no problem.
BG: Man, that class in Hipponics sure comes in handy sometimes.

Panel 1
BG: Hello, there, ladies and gentlemen. We've decided to use this week's strip to fulfill our educational requirements for the American Family Association.
Hippie: Yeah, we wouldn't want our rating to go above PG13, so we're going to talk about Ebonics.

Panel 2
BG: With my fine assistant here, we're going to demonstrate other kinds of American languages.

Panel 3
Hippie: He dribbles down the lane, leans back and shoots a trey with a couple of ticks left on the clock. Net city, bay-bee!
BG: For example, there's hooponics.

Panel 4
Hippie: Gol-lee, Cuddin Mary Sue sholl is a gudd lukin' filly, ain't she? I gotta get me sum of that!
BG: Then there's hickonics.

Panel 5
Hippie: Hey, baby, what's your sign? I'm a Gemini, the sign of love.
BG: And gigilonics.

Panel 6
Hippie: Almost time for Darkwing Duck!
BG: And our course, there's his favorite, dumbonics.
Hippie: Didn't they fight the autobots?

Panel 1
Hippie: Whatcha doing?
BG: My income taxes, the same thing you need to be doing.

Panel 2
Hippie: I don't know what you're talking about, I'm already finished.
BG: You've already finished your taxes?

Panel 3
Hippie: That's right, I've got the forms right here, with all my deductions itemized.
BG: Let me see that.

Panel 4
BG, looking through papers: You did these calucations yourself, didn't you?
Hippie: Yeah, why do you ask?

Panel 5
BG: Somehow, I don't think the IRS is going to accept your collection of Darkwing Duck videotapes as a business expense.
Hippie: Hey, I use those to relax after work. That counts.

Panel 6
BG: And I wouldn't report your...um... box garden in the windowsill as a medical expense.
Hippie: Hey, it works in California.

Panel 1
BG: Watcha watchin'?
Hippie: Just taking in some MTV. You know, it's amazing how much it's changed over the years.

Panel 2
BG: Tell me about it. When Thriller came out, there were no blacks getting video airtime. Now it seems like two songs out of every three are R&B or rap.

Panel 3
Hippie: And alternative used to be just that, but it's been ubiquitous ever since Nirvana and Pearl Jam made it big.

Panel 4
Hippie: Yep, it seems like you can't be mainstream unless you're a hippie or a black guy.

Panel 5
They look at each other

Panel 6
BG: I get to be the lead singer!
Hippie: I'll play the bongos!

The following is a series of strips Jesse wrote to revive the strip, which was dormant at the time. I forget exactly what format the revival was going to be in, but it basically ended up being one of our many failed ideas for a HATBG project that never got off the ground. And being that there was a certain timeliness factor to these strips, we were never able to use them... Until now.

Panel 1
Wide shot of crowd
(Washington D.C.: The Million Man March)

Panel 2
Closer on crowd

Panel 3
Even closer on crowd

Panel 4
Hippie: Dude!
BG(in shock): Oh, no.

Panel 1
BG: What are you doing here?
Hippie: Dude, aren't you glad to see me?

Panel 2
BG: Yeah, I'm glad to see you, I'm just a little surprised.
Hippie: Surprised? Why, where else would I be?

Panel 3
BG: I'm glad to hear that, man. Brothers need all the support we can get to set ourselves straight.
Hippie: Brothers?

Panel 4
BG: Yeah? You're not here to show support for the Million Man March?
Hippie: Million Man March? I thought this was the afterparty for Jerry Garcia's funeral.

Panel 1
BG: You mean you came to the Million Man March thinking it was the afterparty for Jerry Garcia's funeral.
Hippie: Hey, dude. It could happen.

Panel 2
BG: I don't see how. Do you see any Deadheads here?
Hippie: Hey, the brother with the bowtie and the bandanna over there could pass

Panel 3
BG: I don't believe this.
Hippie: Believe it, dude.

Panel 4
BG: Wait a minute. Garcia's funeral ended months ago.
Hippie: Time flies when your keepin' the spirit alive.

(Warning: Three panel strip)
Panel 1
BG: Well, I hate to tell you, but this is not part of Jerry Garcia's funeral.
Hippie: Oh, I figured that out a while back.

Panel 2
BG: Good. It's nice to see you clued in for a change.
Hippie: Hey, I resemble that remark.

Panel 3
BG: What tipped you off?
Hippie, taking off sunglasses showing black eye: Oh, some ``brothers'' back there explained it to me when I tried to start a moshpit.

Panel 1
BG: Well, it's nice to see you anyway. You gonna stay and listen to Farrakhan?
Hippie : Farrah-khan?

Panel 2
BG: Yeah, the guy that's been all over the news for the last few weeks.

Panel 3
BG, getting on his soapbox: Despite what's he said in the past, he's been telling us what we need to hear right now. Are you listening to me?

Panel 4
Hippie: You mean they're finally making that Charlie's Angels/Star Trek crossover movie I've been lusting after?
BG: I gotta get a new friend.

Panel 1(BG and Hippie inside McDonald)
BG: So what have you been doing since SMU?
Hippie: Oh, just wandering the earth, trying to find my place in life.

Panel 2
BG: Oh, really?
Hippie: Yeah, man. I had a revelation, no, a miracle happen a while back, so I decided to walk the earth looking for truth and having adventures.

Panel 3
BG: Uh-huh.
Hippie: You know, man, my eyes are finally open. I can finally see the world for what it is.

Panel 4
BG: So you liked Pulp Fiction too, huh?
Hippie, at counter: A Royale with cheese and a five dollar shake, kittycat.

This is an old unused daily strip from early on. Unless we used it. I'm not sure.

PANEL ONE:
Hippy: Youšll never guess what I bought today.
BG: I donšt want to know.

PANEL TWO:
Hippy: Sure you do. I just got three more Darkwing Duck action figure! I only lack two!

PANEL THREE:
HIPPY: Then I can send off for my life-size Darkwing Duck costume.

PANEL FOUR:
BG: Bungee-jumping the cliffs of geekness.